Here are a few hints:
Experience and common sense count for nothing in my work—that’s why I’ve been so successful.
I have no particular skills or abilities, that’s what makes me so particularly well qualified for my job.
My salary is at least two or three times that of anyone reading this piece, and that does not include the perks—which are many. And I am a multi-millionaire.
I have the best health care and retirement benefits this country can offer, and I am wined and dined in all the finest restaurants, always with someone else picking up the tab.
I never have to show-up at work on time. In fact, I often don’t show up at all.
Even though my job requires nothing more than a room temperature I.Q., still I am barely qualified.
And I am the least responsible and reliable person I know. In fact, I’m right now being investigated; but we’re trying to cover it up, so I won’t say what it’s about.
My detractors (and there are many) are always labeled as liars or worse, and I have never been known to let conscience or moral scruples get in the way of making a fast, easy buck.
If there is a problem, I always shift the blame onto someone else; I am never accountable for anything. But when there’s a success, I am the first person to the podium to take credit for some other person’s hard work.
In my job, I routinely ask ordinary people what they think; but I respond only to the fat cats who pay to promote their causes.
I have been involved in a number of sex scandals. But my long suffering wife seems to be the only one who cares.
I generally make it a habit to not be overly truthful in my work.
I like to travel first-class, and routinely do; but only at someone else’s expense.
I make it a rule to take at least two to three months (paid) vacation each year. And my office is sumptuous ( wood paneled walls, expensive antique furnishings) –no barren computer cube or factory floor for me, thank you.
And the best thing, I really can’t be fired from my job. As far as I’m concerned, I answer only to my God.
So, what is my job? I might be your U.S. Senator or Congressman!
The Money Trader